Tag Archives: school

I can try.

I have three beautiful boys, who I love dearly, and my friends they are BOYS. They wrestle, play for hours in the mud, build forts, wrestle some more, love superheroes, shoot everything, “hunt” around the house constantly, build guns with their Legos, build superhero forts with their Legos…you get the idea.

We watch the Disney channel, and every time a “you can do it, princess” commercial comes on they yell about not being a princess and I get upset. Disney seems to be consumed with swinging the pendulum as far possible in, whatever direction, the feminist movement happens to be swinging. Our culture, seems to be determined to loudly swing the pendulum the other way. As a mom of boys, I find it massively frustrating, unfair, puzzling, confusing.

I grew up in a home where I was constantly encouraged. I was also disciplined, when I was being naughty…, given responsibilities and expectations. But, when I wanted to try something, I never heard from my parents that I could not do it for any reason. I was not given  a false belief that I literally could do everything, but if I thought I wanted to try something, my parents rallied behind me.

My mom was, and is, a doer. She went on adventures, traveled, camped in Alaska for months by herself, and moved across the country by herself. My dad was, and is, a doer. He became a commercial diver and traveled working, went to the bottom of the ocean and has some crazy stories! They both traveled around Europe. They met, fell in love, and got married three months later. They both are big dreamers and are excited about their life together. As a team.

Not once did I ever feel less than because I’m a woman, not once have I ever seen my mom back down because she is a woman, not once have I ever seen my dad treat a woman as less than because she is a woman. Not once did my brother ever treat a woman as less than because she is a woman.

My husband is my favorite. One time I tried to play helpless (not a clue why) and he looked at me like I was nuts and told me I could do it, so do it. When I told him I wanted to go back to school, he was my biggest cheerleader. He has supported me as a stay at home mom, by choice. He has listened to me go on for hours about what I would love to do and encouraged me to keep moving forward. I have never seen my husband look at anyone as less than because of their physical appearances. I have never heard of him speak of anyone as less than because of their physical appearance, the fact that they are female.

There is a new shirt at Target, Strong Like Mom, which is great. But, why would I not want my sons to be like their dad? Why would I not want them to emulate the character of a man who I love more than words could ever explain? Someone who I respect day in and day out. Someone who I have grown to love more and more over our, nearly, thirteen years together. Someone who loves me well, respects me, makes me laugh, holds me while I cry, fights for me and loves God above all else. Why would I not want them to seek to be like him?

My boys know I’m strong. They see me as capable, hard working, loving, a teammate for my husband, and someone who loves God above all else. They love lifting weights with me, running alongside me, celebrating with me when I finally finished my degree! They see me cry and wrestle with God on the hard things, and praise Him for all of it. I don’t need to protest in the streets to prove that point.

When I see women aggressively attacking men, because they are men, I am offended. In all of the jobs I have had, I have received equal pay, equal treatment, and not once questioned whether or not we were on the same playing field. If there was a time that a man has made a joke at a woman’s expense, there has always been a man to shut him up and defend women. Women rant and rave about “man colds”. When my husband is sick, he is SICK. He had pneumonia for part of December and all of January, he did not miss one day of work, struggled to breathe, but still participated fully in our home and in his classroom (he’s an elementary school teacher).

I am proud to be his wife. I am proud to be mom to our boys. I am honored that I get to stay at home with them during this time and that my husband encourages me to do so, and works so hard for me to be able to.

I am proud to be raising my boys the way we are. I do not want them to treat girls, young ladies, ladies as anything less than. Ever. They will respect women, and not because they are women, but because they are human. Do I want them to treat women differently than men? Yes, I do. Because we were created differently. We have different strengths and weaknesses (physically, emotionally, mentally). Because God designed it that way. IT. IS. GOOD.

I still believe I can try. I told my dad I wanted to write a book, he thought that was fantastic and immediately started working on a plan with me. I told my husband I wanted to get re-certified as a personal trainer, he thought that was fantastic and encouraged me to do so. He also encouraged me to look at master’s degrees, so I can fulfill my ultimate dream of being a counselor.

People that tell you, you can’t, are NOT people you need in your life. People that are not encouragers of you and your dreams, are NOT people you need in your life.

Look for people that will cheer you on. Look for people that will push you. Look for people that will come alongside you and work with you. Then grow with them.

REST

A word that can be mighty deceiving. Rest can look different from person to person, but one thing is for certain, it is a must for all.

I’m getting ready to graduate with my Bachelor’s in Psychology (finally!!! After five years and two six month breaks in there) after ten moves in four years, one change in my major, the birth of our third child and all of the other little day to day life happenings.

I’m ready for some rest.

I am ready for life to slow down a tiny bit, to not lie awake at night wondering if I have done enough, panicking over my next paper, the books I have yet to read for class. Finally drifting off to sleep only to have one of our beautiful boys come “sneaking” in because they had a bad dream or the crazy Wyoming wind woke them up.

Rest with three little boys can be very difficult and hard to come by. Having one in school has allowed for a little bit of slowing…but only a little. Trying to keep the other two engaged and moving throughout the day can be a full time job. Struggling with the guilt of sitting down to do homework and not being totally available can be difficult. BUT it has also allowed for our youngest to learn to play by himself and our middle to make some (I think) amazing things with his Lego’s!

There is joy in the little day to day pieces, even though they might seem mundane at times, taking a break and looking around at our home (however frequently it changes) and the people that occupy it makes my heart soar. Our family pictures on the wall, the dirty boy shoes by the door, the artwork covering our fridge and the wall by our desk. Our calendar full of life’s reminders (because this mama forgets a LOT). Our kitchen table is frequently littered with my school books, all of the projects that happen throughout the day and the snacks that are inhaled by the boys. Life.

I woke yesterday with a tiny bit of panic, November 1st. 40 more days of school. Just over three weeks until Thanksgiving. About seven weeks until Christmas. Just over two months until I turn 33. My poor friend Suzanna has listened to my horror over the years going faster (and us getting older!!!) for the last five years, with my panic ever increasing. Each year goes by faster and I feel like I’m still trying to catch up. BUT! My “word” for the next two months, I decided, is rest. Because I need it. I need to put down my phone, I need to snuggle my boys a little longer, read the third, fourth or fifth book…play Lego’s a little more frequently throughout the day.

REST.

Because God say’s so.

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel,
“In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.”
Isaiah 30:15

I could always use a lot less of me and a whole lot more of Him; and if rest is the way I am going to get it, then here we go.